About Me

I have a wonderful husband, Jordec, and we have been married since 2007. We have a son, Eliot, who was born in 2008 and our daughter, Stella, was born in 2011. Stella passed away after two hours of life. We were told her death was going to happen while we were 5 months along in the pregnancy and we prepared as best as we could for her arrival and death. We will claim her and love her forever. As I tried to understand what was happening, I realized that there is not very much information out there about dealing with infant death and, more specifically, dealing with an impending death of your unborn child. It was difficult to navigate through the emotions while feeling alone and uninformed. As I try to figure out how to live life now that Stella is gone, I realized that the grief literature is also slim when it comes to infant death and, again, especially when it comes to impending unborn death. I felt that if nothing else, my thoughts might help someone else understand that they are not alone and that what they are going through has happened to someone else.

November 15, 2011

Stella Everywhere

     Before we decided to give Stella her name, we didn't hear it very often.  After her diagnosis, we saw it everywhere.  One random day, the car in front of me had a license plate with 'Stella 1'.  Today, on 'Dinosaur Train', there was a star fish and her name was Stella.  Eliot's eyes got big and he said, 'Like Stella Sue!'.  It was too cute!  I love that he knows her in his everyday life and not only on special occasions.  My goal is to make that continue.  Had a wonderful day today and I will finish up Stella's Story Part 2: Bad News tomorrow.  As always, God bless!
Posted by at No comments:

The Song that Explains it All

We had some good news and some bad news on a cold November morn
The test confirmed that we were parents, but there was something more
Our little girl had complications, and we were frightened as could be
But we decided to go walking down the road of bittersweet

The next nine months we grew together, somehow closer than before
And our faith began to blossom into something more
We would hold each other close and pray, then cry ourselves to sleep
We knew that God was walking with us down the road of bittersweet

Jesus, take my hand and walk beside me
And make my footsteps firm beneath my feet
I know You’ve gone this way before so guide me
I’m not alone as I go walking down the road of bittersweet

The room was filled with apprehension on the day that she was born
But when I took her in my arms I knew there was so much more
There was a bond of love between us, and I was never more complete
I never knew I’d find such blessing down the road of bittersweet

The doctor said we may not have much time before we’d have to part
So I treasure every moment deep within my heart
Soon we’ll have a little angel, praying for our family
I’m just glad I got to meet her down the road of bittersweet

Jesus, take my hand and walk beside me
And make my footsteps firm beneath my feet
I know You’ve gone this way before so guide me
I’m not alone as I go walking down the road
I’m not alone as I go walking down the road
I’m not alone as I go walking down the road of bittersweet

Lyrics by Karl Kohlhase
Posted by at 1 comment:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)