About Me

I have a wonderful husband, Jordec, and we have been married since 2007. We have a son, Eliot, who was born in 2008 and our daughter, Stella, was born in 2011. Stella passed away after two hours of life. We were told her death was going to happen while we were 5 months along in the pregnancy and we prepared as best as we could for her arrival and death. We will claim her and love her forever. As I tried to understand what was happening, I realized that there is not very much information out there about dealing with infant death and, more specifically, dealing with an impending death of your unborn child. It was difficult to navigate through the emotions while feeling alone and uninformed. As I try to figure out how to live life now that Stella is gone, I realized that the grief literature is also slim when it comes to infant death and, again, especially when it comes to impending unborn death. I felt that if nothing else, my thoughts might help someone else understand that they are not alone and that what they are going through has happened to someone else.

November 11, 2011

Wonderful Day

    My day today was wonderful! I had a great time playing with Eliot.  We were both in great moods and I got to see my baby niece tonight.  It was such a joy to see Eliot and her interact with each other.  Eliot told me tonight that he wants Mommy and Daddy to have another baby girl for him to play with.  I think we will be able to do that someday but not yet. 
    I wanted to write Stella's Story Part 2: Bad News but I was having such a wonderful day that I don't want to relive all of that right now.  Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will be able to sit down with some time and remember those hard few days.  Right now, I am going to go to bed with a smile on my face and remember the happy memories only!  God bless!
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