Precious Child – by: Karen Taylor-Good
In my dreams, you are alive and well
Precious child, precious child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho it may be true that we’re apart
You will live forever…in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child
But in this world, I was left here to grieve
Precious child, precious child
In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still
In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho it may be true that we’re apart
You will live forever…in my heart
God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there’s a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
In my heart you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left too soon
Tho it may be true that we’re apart
You will live forever…in my heart.
“To where you are” – Josh Groban
Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be?
That you are mine
Forever love and you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn’t faith believing
All power can’t be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are
“Tonight I hold this candle” – Alan Pedersen
Tonight I hold this candle in memory of you
Hoping some way some how my love will shine through
I close my eyes lost in the glow
There are so many things I want you to know
This candle says I love you, this candle says I miss you
This candle is saying I remember you
When I’m holding it toward heaven, it feels like you are near.
If you’re looking down tonight and see this candle burning bright
It says I’m wishing you were here.
In the glow of this candle I can almost see your smile
And it carries me away for a little while.
To another time, another place
When all it took to light up my world was your beautiful face.
This candle says I love you, this candle says I miss you
This candle is saying I remember you
When I’m holding it toward heaven, if feels like you are near
If you’re looking down tonight and see this candle burning bright
It says I’m wishing you were here
Someday, some way I’ll see you again
I’ll hold you in my heart until then
This candle says I love you, this candle says I miss you
This candle is saying I remember you
When I’m holding it toward heaven, it feels like you are near
If you’re looking down tonight and see this candle burning bright
It says I’m wishing you were here
If you’re looking down tonight
And see this candle burning bright
It says I’m wishing you were here
This candle ways I Love You
“Cradle of Wings” – Pam Armstrong and Susan Armstrong Lunn
There’s a place in your heart, the angels know
Where the love for your child begins to grow
And they sing out the joy of that tender glow
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Though there’s much to see through new little eyes
When they start to close, with soft weary sighs
In a cradle of wings, the little one lies
And the angel’s hallelujahs hush to lullabies
And the angel’s hallelujahs hush to lullabies
There’s a place in your heart, where you realize
That the love for your child, will forever abide
It’s the cradle of wings, where you little one lies
Where the angel’s hallelujahs hush to lullabies
It’s where the angel’s hallelujahs hush to lullabies
Lullaby, little darlin’ lullaby
Lullaby, my sweet darlin’ lullaby
We will hold you and we’ll see you by and by
We love you and we’ll miss you, bye bye
“I will carry you (Audrey’s song)” – Selah
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I’m not
Truth is I’m barely hanging on
But there’s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
(Chorus)
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I praise the One who’s chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says…
I’ve shown you her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
(Chorus)
“A little farther down the road” – Alan Pedersen
I know those tears you’re cryin’
I’ve been in your shoes
You feel like there’s no use in tryin’
Like there’s nothing left to lose
You take one step forward and move two steps back
You may not see it now but it won’t always be like that
(Chorus)
A little farther down the road
You’ll see the sun again
A little farther down the road
You’ll look back at where you’ve been
You’ll see how far you’ve come
And you’ll find the strength to go
A little farther down the road
This journey is not easy
It’s a windin’ road filled with twists and turns
But you can make it believe me
In time you’ll learn
A greater love comes from your deepest pain
There’s power in that love to help you rise again
(Chorus)
It’s holdin’ on it’s bitter sweet
It’s healing slow the findin’ peace
(Chorus)
I want to preface my thoughts here by saying that I know people have great intentions and that their thought is that they are helping or are trying to help in the way they feel is best. With that being said, sometimes even the most well intentioned words are not helpful. Almost two weeks ago I was up late, as I usually am, and I was overcome with anger at the loss of Stella. I was down right pissed. I was mad at everyone and everything and I just wanted to scream. I cried harder than I have cried in months. I actually thought about driving to a field and screaming my head off. Instead I just cried harder, posted my feeling on facebook along with pictures of Stella, cuddled with Stella's blanket, and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I felt pretty good. I was feeling the residue of the anger from the night before but mostly I was doing okay. I received some positive feedback on facebook from people, especially an old friend who told it like it is. I also received many comments of people's love for us. I so relish all of those comments. It is true that some of my anger was directed at people that kill their children that they don't want and mine had to die while I wanted her. I was also angry and jealous of all those healthy kids out there and why did mine have to die and not theirs. I am not pleased with myself for those thoughts but they were my thoughts at the time, so I felt them and then moved past them. I did however receive some words about going to counseling and talking to people about what we were going through. Again, while I understand that people were just trying to help, instead I felt that my thoughts and feelings weren't normal and that I shouldn't be feeling these things. That is not what the people were telling me but that is what I felt. I know that I am on my own path of grief and that I need to follow it instead of trying to cut through and make a path that I feel is better. I want to be done grieving but I have to wait it out. I will talk to someone and seek help if and when I feel it is right for me. I don't feel that is the case right now. I also don't feel the need to talk at length to others who have gone through what we have gone through. I know that they are out there and that is enough for me right now. I feel that I need to focus on Stella and my grief for her. I want to make sure that my grief is not being influenced by others and how they dealt with their grief. Anyway, that is all that I have to say about that. Thank you for listening and I didn't mean to hurt any feelings, I know you all meant well. Thank you. God bless!
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